So.. Today I decided to write about something which is completely off the topic of my blog however needed to be said. As some of you may know I’m currently training in a Musical Theatre college so there are always going to be injuries, illnesses, tears and tiredness but along with all of that are the most incredible adrenaline rushes you get whilst actually putting all of that training into the final performance. Some say the ‘training’ years are the best years of your life (career wise) and so far I cannot disagree.
However, Assessment term is here again! The time when every performer reaches their maximum stress level and is in constant need of confidence boosters otherwise the assessment term can truly break you. This term we have had over 16 assessments which are a variety from performing to written examinations. So the pressure has really been on..
I noticed this term that a lot of my fellow performers (me included) were getting upset or angry a lot more than they usually do, over the smallest mistakes. Thing is we aim for perfection at all times so when things go wrong it tends to take it’s toll.
When it comes to these weeks of assessments everyone tries as much as they can. Even when they come out of an assessment the first thing they say are the mistakes that happened, ‘I messed up on that turning sequence’ ‘My voice cracked completely!’ And so many more.. All of these negatives when in reality we need to think about the positive things that happened and the improvement that has happened during training. After all, when someone asks how well an assessment went, then surely the attitude or view to have is that it went as well as it could of under assessment conditions. Everything changes once your nerves and adrenaline kick in. Even though you’ve done a perfect triple pirouette in class, you may fall out of one in an assessment. Things happen. The assessment is done and there is no other way that it could of gone. So.. there is no need to focus on it. Move onto the next and focus on how to better your performance for the next one.
In other words.. there is a way to look at specific things in life. You can upset yourself because not everything went as planned or you can think to yourself.. There was no other way that could of gone because it’s already happened and it’s now in the past and cannot be changed. I truly believe so many people are harder than they should be on themselves, everyone’s their own worst critique but there comes a time when even your own critiques are putting you down. Many of us do it, repeat everything that goes wrong in our heads rather than the rest of the things that went correctly, or watch videos and critique them personally even though they may not be anything wrong with them. We get into the zone of finding the negatives in each performance and although this is good to analyse and to know what we have done wrong in order to perfect it sometimes there is a need to appreciate what good things have been done.. Sometimes it’s good to ignore the devil on your shoulder and just enjoy doing what you’re doing even though you might have made a few mistakes here and there..
There are days that get harder for everyone, one day you could of had the best day and the next you could be crying and wanting to eat as much junk food as possible. Things happen and change daily. Surround yourself with people who aren’t just going to pity you but pull you back up and tell you to get on with it (in the nicest of ways)… sometimes you need that kick to remind yourself that there is no need to feel sorry for yourself because although you’re having a bad day or week.. it will change. After all, most of the time the things that happen now, you probably won’t remember them in a few years.
I know this can be seen as one big rant.. but not all people understand what performers go through on a daily basis. When people ask what we’re studying, some may think of it as just dancing around like a ballerina and singing some songs. But there are so many more elements to training to be the best in the industry and there are never any ‘easy’ days. But before I start a new topic to blog about I’ll leave with this one! Maybe next time you may be able to see the inside to what training in one of the Uk’s leading performing arts colleges can really be like..
Until next time..
– Giovana Braia!